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Friendship breakups are SO hard. I, like many people, lost a best friend this year due to the state of the world. Being a Christian business coach, I speak openly about what I believe and there are people who don’t like that. I feel heartbroken and grieve this friendship often. Overcoming loss is challenging and can cause us to build up hate and resentment. This year has reminded me that I need to line myself up with scripture and deal with these feelings. Through dealing with these feelings I have learned a lot and wanted to share some useful ways to deal with friendship heartache.
Be thankful for that season of friendship
Throughout life, relationships will come and go. Rarely will you stay close to the same friends your whole life. This friend came into my life at the perfect time and we had a great relationship. I am grateful for that season but have come away remembering that I need to invest the most into my family. Friends will be close but usually not as close as your family. Also, remember that God brings people in and out of our lives for a reason. Sometimes it is for growth or protection. Thank God for that too!
Pray when you’re feeling heartbroken
Through the heartbreak, continue to let God heal you through prayer. It’s hard when you don’t understand, but continue to submit that to God as well. Through the process of laying this friendship down to Him, I have allowed him to nudge me when I am supposed to reach out to this friend. I also pray for her salvation and for our friendship to be restored.
Look forward and learn
Looking back I have seen that God has had to remove people from my life because I have a hard time ending friendships. I can be too loyal and I don’t want to leave people behind. With this particular friendship, I realized it would have become hard to grow because she is an unbeliever. I don’t say that in a hateful way at all – but the depth and authenticity couldn’t go any further. Therefore, learning from your past friendships can be incredibly valuable when making new ones. This last friendship has shown me how important it is to find people who are in alignment with my values and beliefs.
Bottom line – losing friendships is hard. It’s hard to let go of people who are close to us. Remember these things: God has a plan for you, you can learn from this experience, and you’re not alone. Continue to pray for the people who aren’t in your life anymore and submit these tough situations to God.
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You may as well have told my story, too.
Though I can pinpoint what led to the split, and she does believe most of the same things as I do, it felt like you had shared my same story.
Since my friend stopped talking to me I have gone deep into my relationship with God, deeper than it has been in far too long.
In many ways I thank my friend for dropping me, because I believe that if we were still close, God and I would not be.
It has been the hardest “breakup” in my friendship history since I was in High School (and we all remember how dramatic we were as teens).
I hate that it happened, but I am grateful for so many of the things that have come out of it since then, and especially for the realization that I would still be depressed within that relationship.
Thank you for sharing your story!
I am so sorry that this has happened to you as well. But God always shines through! Glad you are deepening your relationship with Him. Thanks for listening!